Delivery Style: surprise twist

Surprise twist joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Marine’s Unexpected Request Leaves Sex Workers Surprised

    The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

    She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine”

    “Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked. She said “I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn’t have that much”

    “So I told him a blow job would be $75, but he didn’t have that much either”

    “Finally I said, well, how much do you have”? The marine said that he only had $25. The new hooker said “well, for $25 all I can give you is a hand job”

    He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said “he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand…..”

    “Oh my god” they all exclaimed, “it must have been huge…. then what did you do?”

    “I loaned him $75!” she said.

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  • Calling the Police After All

    An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about seventeen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, mister, oh please!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!”

    The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in. Soon they were naked and in bed together. The old man tried hard and tried hard, but finally, he rolls over, exhausted, and embarrassed.

    “I’m sorry, young lady…but it’s no use,” he gasped. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to call the police after all.”

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  • Head Won’t Fit Between The Railings

    Rick, Rob and Kylie went for a night on the town. As they left the nightclub, Kylie slipped and got her head stuck between the railings of the fence opposite the club. Rob decided to take advantage of this and lifted up her skirt, pushed her panties to one side and gave her a good look.

    “Its your turn now, Rick” grinned Rob, but Rick started crying. “Why are you crying, Rick?”

    Rick sobbed “My head won’t fit between the railings..”

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  • Doorknob Trouble: Passionate Bathroom Encounter Goes Wrong

    This husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready to go to work when the husband looked at his wife and said, “I gotta have you!”

    He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and nailed her. When he finished he started putting his clothes back on and saw his wife still writhing around against the door and he asked, “What’s wrong honey? Didn’t you come? Do you want more?”

    His wife said, “No, no, it’s not that. I’m just trying to get the doorknob out of my ass!”

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  • John’s Compliment Comes Back to Haunt Him

    John receives a phone call.

    “Hello,” he answers.

    The voice on the other end says, “This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.”

    John: “Hmm… Susan? About 3 months ago?”

    Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.”

    John: “Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?”

    Susan: “I’m pregnant and I’m going to kill myself.”

    John: “Say, you ARE a good sport.”

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  • Panties on the Ceiling

    Melissa came home late from her date. She was tired, so on her way to her bedroom she threw her coat over a dining room chair, threw her purse into the kitchen table, and just threw her clothes all over her bedroom floor without a care.

    Next morning at breakfast her mother asked if she had a good time last night.

    “Oh yeah” she said, “the best ever”

    “I thought so” said mom, “your panties are still stuck to the ceiling”

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  • Brother After Brother, Vodka After Vodka

    A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double vodkas.”

    The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

    “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

    The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

    On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

    The man downed the first drink and shook his head, “Yeah, my wife!”

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  • My Real Life

    I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.

  • Four Types of Orgasms Explained Hilariously

    John: you know there are four types of orgasms?

    Jim: no what are they?

    John: There’s the POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, RELIGIOUS and FAKE.

    The positive goes oh yes! oh yes!.
    The negative goes oh no! oh no!
    The religious goes oh God! oh God!
    And the fake one goes OH JIM! OH JIM!.

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  • Fireman’s Home Alarm System Gets Misused

    A fireman was talking to his wife and told her “We have this really good system down at the station. One bell means that we all grab our gear, two bells means that we all slide down the pole, and three bells means that we all board the fire engine and leave. So that’s what we’re going to do around here. When I say one bell, I want you to take off all of your clothes. When I say two bells, I want you to get in the bed. When I say three bells, we start screwing.”

    Later on that night, the fireman said one bell, and his wife began to disrobe.

    Then, he said two bells, and his wife jumped into the bed.

    Then, he said three bells, and they began to screw.

    After a couple of minutes, his wife said “four bells.”

    The fireman said “What’s that mean?”

    She said “The fire is not out and I need more hose!”

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