Dude, you better come see this. Your wife is on a dating site
That lying bitch!
She is not “fun to be around”
Delivery Style: surprise twist
Surprise twist joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Show Him Your Badge
A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday.
“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs,” he said.
I replied, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The DEA officer exploded. “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!”
Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face.
“See this fucking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked, no answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”
I nodded politely, apologized, and went back to my chores.
A short time later, I heard loud screams. I looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull.
With every step, the bull was gaining ground, and it looked like the officer would get gored before he made it to safety.
So I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs:
“Your badge! Show him your fucking badge!”
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Wife Gave Birth – How Soon Can We Have Sex? I’m Off Duty in Ten Minutes
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said, “I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”
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I’m a Doctor in Mathematics – My Friend Is Dying – Minus One
– Do you have a doctor here?
– yes, I’m.
– What’s your specialty?
– I’m a doctor in Mathematics.
– My friend is dying.
– Minus one.
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Chillin’ With My Homies at the Last Supper – This Food You’re Eating Is My Body – YAHWEH
SO I WAS CHILLIN’ WITH MY HOMIES AT THE LAST SUPPER AND I WAS LIKE BROS… THIS FOOD YOUR EATING IS MY BODY.. THEY WERE ALL LIKE NO WAY!
AND I WAS LIKE, YAHWEH
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Do Amish Dudes Have to Row Boat Their Wife’s Titties?
Hes probably thinking about other women
Do Amish dudes have to row boat their wife’s titties?
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Game Show Idea: 11 Gay Men and 1 Straight Man – None of the Men Are Actually Gay
Game Show Idea:
11 gay men and 1 straight man are locked in a house. The object for the gay men is to find out who isn’t gay. Once a week someone gets outvoted, until 2 are left, or the straight man is out. If the gays manage to outvote him, they win 1 million dollars. If the straight man is among the 2 last people in the house in the end, he wins 1 million dollars.
Now here’s the twist: None of the men are actually gay, they just all think they are the one straight man.
