Format: anecdotal

Anecdotal comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Paraplegic Strip Club

    The other day I went to a paraplegic strip club.

    The place was crawling with pussy.

  • Explaining AI

    My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.

    I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”

  • Sound Advice

    My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

    “It’s worth spending money on good speakers,” he told me.

  • How do you know it was on its way to work?

    I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”

  • Pissing Skittles

    Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after I had spent three days eating nothing but beets and asparagus, and downing enough Karo syrup to kill a horse, that I realized maybe it was actually during a dream when I came up with my super-secret formula for “pissing Skittles.”

  • Souble Standards

    When I’m sitting in a restaurant with a date and she asks, “Do you mind if I smoke?” I always feel like saying, “No, but do you mind if I sit here beside you and discreetly masturbate under the tablecloth?”

    Regrettably, I never do, since by the time she gets around to asking about the cigarette, I’m usually half finished and have no intention of stopping anyway.

  • A complete prick

    When I first met Richard Peter Johnson, he seemed like a decent guy, but he turned out to be a complete prick.

  • Only time would tell

    The frogs looked real. In fact, I was sure they were. But could they play those little musical instruments, especially burdened by that patina of lacquer inhibiting their movement? Only time would tell, and I had all night.

  • A lot of things changed

    When my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot of things changed.
    Like my name, my phone number, and my address.