Format: anecdotal

Anecdotal comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While

I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While the salesperson was more than happy to indulge her questions about “plushness” and “comfort,” all I received was blank stares when I voiced concerns about the bedframe’s durability when I’m ramming it home.
There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants

There was no way around it: The lump that appeared in my pants was visible to everyone else in the meeting room. Thinking fast, I went “BAWK!”
I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth

I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth minister crawled into my tent naked after he said a bear stole his clothes.
I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her

I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her lawn was mine and I got super offended because I haven’t shat on a lawn in weeks.
While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller”

While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller” video in the middle of the zombie dance. My youngest son said, “I bet that’s what Michael looks like now.”
A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue

A friend used the term “life hack” in front of me today. No clue what it means so I just nodded my head and said I agreed his mom is a cunt.
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong

My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
That Moth Had a Big Cock

I was driving along with my young son when we noticed a car driving erratically ahead of us. As we pulled alongside it, ready to overtake, the window came down and a massive dildo — sixteen inches if it was a day — came flying out the window and smacked into our windscreen before flying off to the curb side.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

My son looked confused for a second before asking, “What was that, Dad?”

I had to think quick. “That was a moth,” I replied. “Just a moth.”

He thought about it for a while and said, “Fuck, that moth had a big cock, eh Dad!”

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Eaton / Dayton

I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.

Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.
Dentist Impressions

I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.

He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.