I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”
It was a French toast.
Format: anecdotal
Anecdotal comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Wheelbarrow Bet
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the young man replied. “Let’s see what you got.”
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”
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Why They Charge for Air
The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car’s gas tank and tires…
She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, “Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!”
I responded, “Inflation.”
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A Pinch of Gun Powder on Your Oatmeal
A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning…
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
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At Least 8 Characters and One Capital
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyLondon
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
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Suffering From Complete Sexual Exhaustion
A smart-assed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”
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Irish Viagra
An Irish woman of a certain age went to see her doctor and asked if there was anything he could prescribe to help revive her husband’s love life.
“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.
“Not a hope,” she replied. “The man won’t even take a paracetamol.”
“No problem,” said the doctor. “Try what we call ‘Irish Viagra.’ Slip a tablet into his coffee. He’ll never notice it. Give it a go and ring me next week to let me know how you get on.”
Well, she didn’t even last the week before calling him back.
“Doctor!” she cried. “Faith and begorrah, it was awful! Absolutely terrible!”
“Really?” the doctor asked. “What happened?”
“Well, I did exactly what you said and dropped the tablet into his coffee. The effect was nearly instant. He leapt to his feet with a wild sparkle in his eye and his trousers bulging like a circus tent!”
The doctor said, “Good heavens.”
“Before I knew it, he swept the cups clean off the table, tore me clothes clean off me back, and took me there and then, right on the tabletop!”
“So why was it so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Was the sex not good?”
“Good?” she shouted. “It was the best sex I’ve had in twenty-five years!” She paused dramatically.
“But I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”
