I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.
Format: narrative
Narrative comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.
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My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey
My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
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My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama
My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama Sutra, and had no problems with The Butterfly, The Bridge, The Plow, The Rowing Boat and The Suspended Scissors. However, we’ve been stuck for more than a week on The Chinese Sex Trap.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only
You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only it’s not *exactly* the same as you remember? Well the prostitute told me we should call it a “déjà do-over,” right before she noted that when we were college classmates together, she was a man.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
