Joke Type: comparative

Comparative jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • The Hyperbole

    While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.

  • Law School

    It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.

  • That guy from You’re So Vain

    You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”

  • Instead of a Zamboni

    If minor league hockey teams really want to rope in the fans, they should use a chick in a bikini with a flamethrower instead of a Zamboni.

  • What Do They Have in Common

    What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

    Someone forgot to take it out.

  • Explaining AI

    My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.

    I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”

  • The dog won

    If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • One of your snakes is digesting a rat

    The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.

  • Don’t let Kevin Bacon die

    Ever since Johnny Cash died, we’ve had no cash. Ever since Steve Jobs died, we’ve had no jobs. Please God, don’t let Kevin Bacon die.