15. “All right, who’s the smartass who replaced the French onion dip with Wite-Out?”
14. “So I said to myself, ‘Jell-O mold — moldy Jell-O… who’s gonna know the difference?’”
13. “A Chia Pet instead of a cash bonus! How creative of you, sir.”
12. “Hey, did you remember to let the boss out of that rat hole outside of Tikrit?”
“Me? I thought you were supposed to!”
11. “Hey, baby, wanna be today’s guest of honor in my blog?”
10. “I know it’s a photocopy of Jenkins’s buttocks, but you’ve got to admit, it does look like Santa.”
9. “There’s a holiday scene for you: Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer sitting at the table with VP Little Dumber Boy.”
8. “I forgot the party was tonight, until I realized that the entire IT department smells like Old Spice.”
7. “So he crosses out the ‘A451,’ writes ‘A578’ at the top, and tries to resubmit it! Can you believe that guy? An A451! Hahahahaha!”
6. “Sorry Boss, you know the rule: no bonus, no oral favors.”
5. “Take your clothes off, men — time to go skinny-dipping in the secretarial pool!”
4. “I remember the old days when we’d just photocopy our asses. Now we have to outsource it to a graphics company so they can touch it up before IT posts it to the corporate website.”
3. “Don’t crash the Halliburton party next door — they’re asking twenty-four bucks for a Bud Light.”
2. “He’s your Secret Santa? Be careful. It took six prescriptions to get rid of what he gave me last year.”
1. “You’re the boss’s wife? What a coincidence — I’m his bitch.”
The Top 5 List — www.topfive.com
Copyright 2003 by Chris White
