Joke Type: double entendre

Double entendre jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big

I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big bonus for Christmas this year. And the BONER he gave me wasn’t even that big.
Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry

Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry store do I need if I just want a blow job?
I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture

I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture business, but every time I call a prospective customer and ask if they want to see my stool samples, they just gasp and hang up.
Ladies, it’s important that you pay attention to the idioms you

Ladies, it’s important that you pay attention to the idioms you use when speaking to your man. There’s a subtle but crucial difference between telling him you’re planning to “blow him off” and “blow him.”
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical

I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the

I don’t understand the fuss about letting gays serve in the military, especially when you consider how much the army likes to keep its privates at attention.
There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the

There is perhaps no greater pleasure than to be the meat in the middle of a Jilly G. Filthy Rumination sandwich.
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little

I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought

This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of

What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.