Joke Type: gender

Gender jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Bar Room Translations

    1. “You get this one, next round is on me.” (We won’t be here long enough to get another round.)

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    2. “I’ll get this one, next one is on you.” (Happy hour is about to end… drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they’ll be $4.50 a pop.)

    3. “Hey, where is that friend of yours?” (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.)

    4. “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel?” (female) (I’m easy.)

    5. “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel?” (male) (I’m gay.)

    6. “Ever try a body shot?” (male to female) (I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

    7. “Ever try a body shot?” (female to male) (If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home?)

    8. “I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (female) (You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)

    9. “I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (male) (I’m horny.)

    10. “Who’s got the next round?” (I haven’t bought a round in almost three years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)

    11. “Excuse me.” (male to male) (Get the hell out of the way.)

    12. “Excuse me.” (male to female) (I am going to grope you now.)

    13. “Excuse me.” (female to male) (Don’t even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)

    14. “Excuse me.” (female to female) (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don’t think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho… Get your eyes off of my man, or I’ll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)

    15. “What do you have on tap?” (What’s cheap?)

    16. “Can I have a white Russian?” (male) (I’m really gay.)

    17. “Can I have a white Russian?” (female) (I’m really easy.)

    18. “That person looks really familiar.” (Did I sleep with him/her?)

    19. “Can I just get a glass of water?” (female) (I’m annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

    20. “I don’t have my ID on me.” (female) (I’m 19.)

    21. “I don’t have my ID on me.” (male) (I don’t have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here.)

  • 3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 Billion Women

    3.8 billion women on the planet…

    You’d Think it would be clean by now.

  • Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    Carry Stuff Under Nutsacks

    WHAT IF GUYS CARRIED STUFF UNDER THEIR NUTSACKS

    THE SAME WAY THAT GIRLS CARRY STUFF IN THEIR BOOBS

  • Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and

    Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and you’re miles away from the ladies’ room and your panties are bunching up and on top of everything else, your balls itch, too?

  • she’s saying, “Look what I can do that you can’t

    she’s saying, “Look what I can do that you can’t.”

  • Nothing says “double standard” like pre-wedding celebrations:

    Nothing says “double standard” like pre-wedding celebrations: Penis Tiara? Okay! Vagina Hat? Not so much.

  • I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those

    I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.

  • If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should

    If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should have to tuck his penis and balls behind his butt for the rest of the day.

  • Before and After Marriage

    Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

    After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.