Nobody sees the 5am runs.
Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries.
Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room.
Because I don’t do any of these things.
Joke Type: relatable
Relatable jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Some Really Terrible Things for Money
In my day, I’ve done some really terrible things for money.
Like getting up early to go to work.
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Perfect Eyesight on the Fairway
Arthur is 75 years old…
He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago.
One day, he arrives home looking downcast.
“That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I couldn’t see where it went.”
His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea.
As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?”
“That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.”
“He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”
So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?”
“Of course I did!” the brother-in-law answers. “I have perfect eyesight.”
“Where did it go?” Arthur asks.
“I don’t remember.”
