I was at a speed dating event, looking for a partner who can light my cigarette.
The first candidate started telling me about how smoking is actually really bad for me.
I told him that I appreciate his intention, but it’s not a match.
Joke Type: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Disabled Porn
A guy takes his wife and two small kids on a driving vacation, and checks into a cheap motel. He asks the clerk, “For the sake of our kids’ TV viewing, can we have the porn disabled?”
The clerk responds, “Who the hell would make their kids watch disabled porn, you sick bastard?”
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I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the
I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the interview was necessary.
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Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get
Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get a disease from a toilet seat — especially if you have sex with a heroin-addicted hooker on it.
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I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
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My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our
My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.
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My wife and I just love experimenting in the kitchen! Last week
My wife and I just love experimenting in the kitchen! Last week we tried deviled eggs flavored with orange zest and Thai sriracha sauce. The week before that I banged her on the top dishwasher rack while she shoved a wire whisk up my ass.
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Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular
Yelling through the bathroom stall partition, I asked my regular glory hole chick if she would be interested in taking things to the next level, but she just gave me lip service.
