My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
Meh Thoughts
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Some Really Terrible Things for Money
In my day, I’ve done some really terrible things for money.
Like getting up early to go to work.
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Sails Are Going Through the Roof
I started a business making yachts in the attic.
Sails are going through the roof.
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A Solid 10 But Also Imaginary
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
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I Learned Next to Nothing
I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary, and I learned next to nothing.
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It’s Hard to Say
I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce.
She asked what’s so special about it.
“It’s hard to say,” I answered.
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Not Enough Because I Have to Go Back Tomorrow
I just asked my son what he learned today at school, and he told me, “Not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow.”
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Vanished Without a Tres
I recently attended a magic show in Mexico…
The magician said, “Uno, dos,” and then vanished without a tres.
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He’s Deaf
Doc: I have bad news and really bad news… the bad news is your baby is just an ear… a 6-pound 5-ounce baby ear. No arms or legs or head… just an ear.
But that’s not the worst part…. He’s DEAF!
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Now I’m a Registered Sex Offender
My doctor told me I could have a stroke at any time.
Now I’m a registered sex offender.
