Meh Thoughts

  • Won’t = Wo Not

    Quick tip for those who are struggling with English:

    Don’t = Do not

    Won’t = Wo not

    Stay tuned for more tips.

  • A Pirated Copy

    My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, “Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father.”

    I think he got a pirated copy.

  • I Have Contacts

    I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.

    He said he didn’t care who I knew.

  • You Guys Have No Life

    What did Earth say to the other planets?

    Wow, you guys have no life.

  • It Was Actually Salsa

    I thought the audience was throwing tomato sauce at the tango dancer, but it was actually salsa.

  • Still Wouldn’t Tell Me Why It Crossed the Road

    I grilled a chicken for two hours…

    Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.

  • Home in Time for Dinner

    Decided to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money!

    I should be home in time for dinner.

  • The Lesser of Two Evils

    My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his “better half.”

    I returned the courtesy and introduced my wife as the “lesser of two evils.”

  • Kenya Believe It

    My wife left me because I have an unhealthy obsession with Africa.

    Kenya believe it?!

  • Number Than Numb

    English puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number.

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