Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Without a Tres

    There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.

  • Minty Fresh Brains

    I’ve made provisions in my will to be buried with a roll of breath mints. I figure if I should somehow become part of a zombie army roaming the earth, I may want something minty fresh to take the taste of brains out of my mouth.

  • Fatherly Bubble

    Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying, “Some nights I don’t know why I even bother to wear panties.”

  • Homecoming Queen

    Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is really nothing more than a high-stakes version of “Wouldn’t it be funny to elect the ugly girl homecoming queen?”

  • Keep People in the Dark

    My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,

    but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.

  • Grey and Comes in Pints

    What’s grey and comes in pints?

    An elephant.

  • Human DNA + Goat DNA

    What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

    You get kicked out of the petting zoo!

  • Low-Hanging Fruit

    I was going to make a joke about the balls of an elderly man…

    …but that would just be low-hanging fruit.

  • Blacksmith Dog

    I trained my dog to be a blacksmith.

    He made a bolt for the door.

  • Knows the Drill

    I’ve been training my dog to fetch tools from my workbench.

    He isn’t perfect, but he knows the drill.

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