Women are so fickle. My wife she told me that we should live every day like it’s our last, then she complains about how I spend every day smoking crack and banging her sister.
Meh Thoughts
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The statement “A picture is worth a thousand words” is worth 0.007 of a picture.
The statement “A picture is worth a thousand words” is worth 0.007 of a picture.
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Puppy playdate?
Puppy playdate? At our place? Great idea! Why, just the other day, I was remarking to the wife that we dont have nearly enough dogs pooping in our backyard.
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Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
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Where Did the Creator of The Jetsons Go
Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I can’t help but wonder, “Where did the creator of ‘The Jetsons’ go, and why hasn’t he done something about this?”
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You Can Always Tell
You can always tell if a man masturbates a lot by looking at his hands…
If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
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I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my
I thought I was being so “green” by not wasting water, but my toilet bowl suggests I’m more of a “putrid orangish yellow.”
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Bucknekkid Dart Tag Reconsidered
While I love weapons, nudity and sports, perhaps I should have spent a little more time thinking through the reality of Bucknekkid Dart Tag.
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Two No Shows But I Had Fun
I had my first threesome tonight.
There were two no shows but I had fun.
