My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
What a weird way to start a conversation!
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!
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Catch a Falling Star and Blackmail It
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. Then tell it that unless you get a cool half-mil, you’ll sell to the highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing photos of it puking naked in the alley.
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Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford
Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford to buy shorts that fit or shirts that aren’t ripped — or even soap to wash off the skank every night when they’re done.
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Scaring the crap out of the passengers
It was in 1875 that my great-great-grandmother Elsa began appearing on stages throughout the Old West, and scaring the crap out of the passengers.
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The Space Program
If they ever start taking civilians into the space program, I’ll be the first to sign up. Not because I’m into science or exploring or stuff, but because I owe a lot of money to some really mean dudes in Jersey.
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Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for
Why do they call them potholes, man? You can’t blame bud for that shit. *massive bong rip*
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I think it would be awesome to be Smurfette. You have a whole
I think it would be awesome to be Smurfette. You have a whole village of guys to fuck and
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Stop Biting Our Cheeks by 66
It takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something and we chew food for an average of 25 minutes per day. Using that logic, we will stop biting our cheeks by the age of 66.
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My main problem with the “Star Trek” episode “The Trouble With
My main problem with the “Star Trek” episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” is the complete lack of attention to tribble shit, which would have to be one of the top concerns.
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A Nasty Habit
I met a nun who wiped her nose on her clothes.
She had a nasty habit.
