If I were a best-selling children’s author, I’d write a book about how these cool little kids and their cute woodland friends made Santa very happy by taking all the money out of Mommy’s wallet and mailing it to my PO Box.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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The End Was in Sight
As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.
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Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in
Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
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“What is it about the accent that makes British guys more
“What is it about the accent that makes British guys more fuckable? I mean except the neighbor in The Jeffersons?” -me, post margarita
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Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already
Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already shitting horrifying, jet-black concrete.
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It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect”
It’s all fun and games until someone tries to text “autocorrect” but the autocorrect feature changes the word to “autofellate.” Then it’s just fucking hysterical.
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Grief Lessons: Good Counsel, No Tears
My grief councillor died last week.
Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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If I was in a Native American Porn, my name would be Girl With
If I was in a Native American Porn, my name would be Girl With No Gag Reflex.
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Look Back and Laugh
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
