When I was a kid, bedtime was 9:30 p.m. I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up so I could go to bed anytime I wanted.
Turns out that is 9:30 p.m.
Meh thoughts
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
When I was a kid, bedtime was 9:30 p.m. I couldn’t wait to be a grown-up so I could go to bed anytime I wanted.
Turns out that is 9:30 p.m.
I don’t know if “Topless Webcamming” can be considered a skill, but what the fuck, it’s going on the resume.
I like my coffee like I like my women: half-digested and culled from the feces of the Asian Palm Civet.
My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and it reeked of urine. Then when she told me that she doesn’t have pets, I was totally turned on.
I don’t really find back of the neck tattoos attractive on a woman, but I do appreciate having something to read during sex — so thanks, ladies!
We recently opened a shelter for the poor, needy, and the impotent.
The poor and needy showed up, but the impotent couldn’t come.
I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth minister crawled into my tent naked after he said a bear stole his clothes.
Me: *trying the ol’ yawn/reach-around-the-shoulder trick*
Other guy at urinal: hey
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