Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the

I really hate people who give TMI. I hate them more than all the bloody underwear I’ve throw in the trash on account of my oozing hemorrhoids.

Say fuck at the same time

How do you get 29 nice old ladies to say fuck at the same time?
Have the 30th nice old lady say, “Bingo!”

As with “Joe Millionaire,” I can’t wait until the last episode of “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” when the players candidly admit to America that they lied and they’re not really celebrities after all.

Tipping Culture Is Getting Out of Hand

Gratuities just increased by over 30% for the Tower of Pisa, in Italy.

Tipping culture is really getting out of hand.

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the

I love Photoshop. I can send pics of my hoo-hah to guys on the ‘net and make it so they can’t even see my penis.

4 People Without Any Problems

The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 4 people without any problems.”

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 4 people without any problems?”

engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the

engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the breast cup size of the fiancee. And if they’re fake? Cubic zirconia. Fair is fair.

Dead Baby in a Clown Suit

What’s funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

The Difference Is Staggering

It takes me 5 minutes to walk from my home to the bar, but 20 minutes to walk from the bar back to my home.

The difference is staggering.

I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your

I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your entire life making toys, but you also have a little elf dick.

Meh Thoughts

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