“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
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I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls;
I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls; with MY rack, it’s all about Titty Calls.
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Truth or Trouble: The Dress Dilemma
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
“Promise not to be mad, whatever I say?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I fucked your sister.” -
Limo Dreams: No Driver, No Ride!
I just rented a limo for $500, then learned that fee doesn’t even include a driver.
So I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it!
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Ants in Pants vs. Uncles: Who’s Worse?
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
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“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy
“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy little thing called love.” Wow, Freddie Mercury must’ve been a terrible fuck.
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Pot holes should be more fun
If you break it down linguistically, pot holes should really be a lot more fun.
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IDEA! A free sip of strong espresso before you order at the
IDEA! A free sip of strong espresso before you order at the coffee shop. So nobody’s drink goes cold while they’re waiting in line to shit.
