In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
Meh Thoughts
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I’m writing an erotic story of a successful but lonely Wal-Mart manager who introduces a
I’m writing an erotic story of a successful but lonely Wal-Mart manager who introduces a young, barely tattooed cashier to his version of bondage, most of which involves duct tape. I’m calling it “Fifty Shades of Camo.”
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If frequent peeing were an Olympic sport, I’d definitely take the gold.
If frequent peeing were an Olympic sport, I’d definitely take the gold. But then I’d miss the medal ceremony cause I’d be in the bathroom.
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I get a lot of my best ideas when I’m watching PBS.
I get a lot of my best ideas when I’m watching PBS. The other day I was watching when they had a Peter, Paul & Mary concert and I got a great idea: “If I find a way to steal cable I won’t have to watch this crap.”
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I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
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Pretzels cause earthquakes.
Pretzels cause earthquakes. Werewolves cause acne. Vaccinations cause autism. Each of these three statements has equal evidence to support it.
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Seeing Someone on the Side
My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.
