I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Catch a Falling Star and Blackmail It
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. Then tell it that unless you get a cool half-mil, you’ll sell to the highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing photos of it puking naked in the alley.
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When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he fucked my mom.
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Alone When Doing Number Two
The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.
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Folgers Crystals for the Blood Bank
I’ve been saving up all my picked-off scabs in little bags, just in case the local blood bank needs some Folgers crystals.
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A Solid 10 But Also Imaginary
My girlfriend is like the square root of -100.
A solid 10, but also imaginary.
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Soup or Ahi Frozen Fish Sticks
What did Mary Poppins like for dinner?
Soup or ahi frozen fish sticks, ex peas, all delicious.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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Mother-in-Law Showdown: Whose Is Nicer?
My wife accused me of liking my relatives more than hers. I told her that was absolutely not true.
I thought her mother-in-law was much nicer than mine.
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Those are just contractions
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
