My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his “better half.”
I returned the courtesy and introduced my wife as the “lesser of two evils.”
Meh Thoughts
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Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST
Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST person.
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How Do You Get a Gay to Fuck a Woman
How do you get a gay to fuck a woman?
Shit in her cunt.
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He’s pure bread
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep biting him.
I should have known better.He’s pure bread!
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There’s nothing more embarrassing than having finished a huge brain dump at work, then
There’s nothing more embarrassing than having finished a huge brain dump at work, then having someone in the break- room point out you still have a piece of spreadsheet stuck to your ear.
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A mime was arrested after breaking his left arm in a bar fight
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still…has the right to remain silent.
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For the sake of realism, they really should make a few scenes where Superman arrives at
For the sake of realism, they really should make a few scenes where Superman arrives at the bad guys’ lair covered in bird guts.
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I wish those NRA nuts would realize I’d be more sympathetic to their cause if the
I wish those NRA nuts would realize I’d be more sympathetic to their cause if the government were trying to take away people’s right to bare *breasts*.
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Stop Visiting Those Painful Places!
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.
He told me to stop going to those places.
