You can tell you’ve reached a severe life turning point when your cock cravings no longer take you to singles bars, but to KFC.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
-
She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for
She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for her Bada-bung next time.
-
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,”
I know they say that when it comes to sex, “a hole is a hole,” but it’s been a week now and my wife still hasn’t gotten her hearing back.
-
I Have Contacts
I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.
He said he didn’t care who I knew.
-
“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy
“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy little thing called love.” Wow, Freddie Mercury must’ve been a terrible fuck.
-
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
-
The Clapper and the Mime
Does the Clapper still turn the lights on if a mime is doing the clapping?
-
Dogs Chase Cars
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
-
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
-
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
