There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick to the crotch, there will be no more sperm in “eye.”
Meh Thoughts
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I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
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I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability
I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability to lick their privates in exchange for having to lick their own butts clean.
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This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
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What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
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Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion:
Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion: “The gift that keeps on getting.”
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I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but
I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but I’ve since redeemed myself by being chosen blowjob queen of my trailer court.
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I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my
I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my collection of giant roosters and stolen cats. But for some strange reason, the principal called me and told me to keep my huge cocks and hot pussies at home.
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Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”
