My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome so she could experience a really big dick. Unfortunately, Simon Cowell is busy that night.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but*
I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but* complimentary to tell her that she tasted “vulvalicious.”
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
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Best Costume
A sure-fire way to win “best costume” at the next Halloween party is to have somebody embed a real chainsaw blade into your shoulder.
Timing is crucial, though — you don’t want to pass out from loss of blood after 10 minutes, long before the costume judging begins, like I did.
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While I was traveling for work, my wife called to excitedly tell
While I was traveling for work, my wife called to excitedly tell me that she was expecting at least eight inches overnight. I hope she was only talking about snow.
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They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I
They say it is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on. I don’t know about that — it probably depends on your particular fetish.
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If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
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“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga.
“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga. It’s also a pretty fair descriptor for the state of my underwear.
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If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy
If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy MILF Day” card market.
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Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford
Hooters must not pay much. The women working there can’t afford to buy shorts that fit or shirts that aren’t ripped — or even soap to wash off the skank every night when they’re done.
