Did you hear about the thousands of laundry machines that were found on the beach?
They washed a shore…
Meh Thoughts
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The Wizard’s Choice
When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.
I forgot which one I picked.
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Parents don’t seem to like it when you lean in close, gesture toward the child sitting
Parents don’t seem to like it when you lean in close, gesture toward the child sitting in their grocery cart and whisper, “They sell those here?”
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Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids
Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids.
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Big Potatoes and Dirty Secrets!
Two Irish women were out in the field digging up potatoes.
One of them pulls out a huge one and says, “Ah, it’s just like my husband’s penis.”
The other gasps, “Oh? that big?”
The first shakes her head and says, “No. That dirty.” -
Eats That Many Trains
My personal trainer said he eats five big meals and trains six days a week.
I have no idea how he eats that many trains.
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Have you ever fallen for a girl so hard that whenever you’re around her, you get gassy?
Have you ever fallen for a girl so hard that whenever you’re around her, you get gassy? Well, I’m completely inflatuated!
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Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise
Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
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When It Comes to Their Pessimism
When it comes to their pessimism, every pessimist is an optimist.
