I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While the salesperson was more than happy to indulge her questions about “plushness” and “comfort,” all I received was blank stares when I voiced concerns about the bedframe’s durability when I’m ramming it home.
Meh Thoughts
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to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two
to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two pounds lighter.
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After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot
After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot — I just remember a few snatches.
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There is literally nothing in the world you could name that men
There is literally nothing in the world you could name that men haven’t jerked it to or tried to fuck.
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With its backward-curving fangs and quick-acting venom, the
With its backward-curving fangs and quick-acting venom, the Mexican tarantula is widely known for giving the animal kingdom’s worst blowjob.
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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I don’t really find back of the neck tattoos attractive on a
I don’t really find back of the neck tattoos attractive on a woman, but I do appreciate having something to read during sex — so thanks, ladies!
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(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great
(Brad Wilkerson) I thought my leaf blower costume was a great idea until every guy in the neighborhood dressed up as a leaf.
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I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead
I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
