One of the perks of being a Pig Latin poet is that it’s pretty easy to come up with rhymes.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Future Racecar Driver
The way my four-year-old really gets into steering when we’re in the car makes me think he might grow up to be a professional racecar driver. And to think I originally just needed him to sit in my lap and take the wheel while I reached back for another beer.
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Ohio Owes Buddy Holly an Apology
If Ohio is the birthplace of both aviation and rock and roll, I’d say they owe that Buddy Holly fella an apology.
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The Eggnog Alibi
I miss the holidays. It’s the only time of year when you can get away with telling people that the stain on your dress is really eggnog.
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Hitting the Bottle Again
After five years on the wagon, my friend Natasha started hitting the bottle again. I just have to remember that it’s a sickness, not a weakness, to be addicted to artificially blonde hair.
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Makes Your Day
Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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One Lemon
If life gives you a lemon, just throw it away, because I tried making lemonade, and let me tell you: One lemon doesn’t give you a lot of great tasting lemonade, buddy.
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Stationery Bike
To get into better shape, I treated myself to a new piece of exercise equipment. It looks real pretty with my name and address on it, but the paper cuts are killing me. I guess I should have done more research before getting a stationery bike.
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Glass Houses
Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes.
