Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Looking in Alderaan Places

If you came here expecting me to drop some awesome Star Wars puns today…

I’m afraid you’re looking in Alderaan places.

My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl until he found out she was seeing someone on the side.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towels on his head. The bartender asks, “What’s with the roll of paper towels on your head?”

The pirate says, “There’s Bounty on me head.”

Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.

Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!

If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.

It tastes like ass.

I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed.

It turns out I’m not remotely funny.

We have X-rays to see bones, ultrasounds to see babies, and an MRI to see the brain.

Is a finger in the ass really necessary for a prostate exam?

My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent…

So, I woke him up at 2am to tell him my sock fell off and then again at 4 to tell him I needed to pee.

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink…

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”