Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • The Hard Disk

    Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?

  • Your Chance of Getting Hit by Lightning

    It’s silly to worry about storms.

    Your chance of getting hit by lightning is exactly the same as your chance of getting hit by lightning.

  • How Many Men Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb

    How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

    Four — one to actually change it and three friends to brag to about how he screwed it.

  • It Will Be Missed

    I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.

    It will be missed.

  • It Was Instant

    A man died after falling into a vat of coffee.

    His wife told reporters, “At least he didn’t suffer — it was instant.”

  • If Your Girlfriend Starts Smoking

    If your girlfriend starts smoking….

    …slow down, and use a lubricant.

  • A Complete Guess But I Was Right

    My friend asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was.

    It was a complete guess, but I was right.

  • You Already Know How to Play Tennis

    My wife walked in on me watching Internet porn so I quickly switched to a YouTube video on tennis.

    As she left the room she said, “Turn it back to the porn, you already know how to play tennis.”

  • Jesus Doesn’t Drink

    Why doesn’t Jesus drink?

    Because the last time he got hammered, it took him 3 days to recover.

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