I’m holding back from having my own children because I’m not sure I’d be a very good parent. Besides, have you any idea how much people at raves charge when you want them to watch kids?
Meh Thoughts
-
Preparation H is normally applied to one’s posterior to shrink hemorrhoids, but it has
Preparation H is normally applied to one’s posterior to shrink hemorrhoids, but it has also become popular as a means of temporarily erasing facial wrinkles. I’m guessing the second usage was discovered during a management training class.
-
I found out recently that few words are more powerful than “cleavage.”
I found out recently that few words are more powerful than “cleavage.” You can place it with 10,000 others in an employee review, and it’s still the only one your lawyers want to talk about.
-
I admit, I am as attracted to a pretty woman in a nice outfit as much as the next guy,
I admit, I am as attracted to a pretty woman in a nice outfit as much as the next guy, but I prefer to think that it’s what’s inside her pants that is most important.
-
If Anthony Hopkins ever decides to open a restaurant for cannibals, I bet he calls the
If Anthony Hopkins ever decides to open a restaurant for cannibals, I bet he calls the house special “Remains of the Day.”
-
Two hours of Internet porn and online sex left me screaming with orgasm after orgasm —
Two hours of Internet porn and online sex left me screaming with orgasm after orgasm — until that bitch librarian told me to keep it down.
-
The one piece of advice I wish I’d paid attention to is that thing on the cleaner bag
The one piece of advice I wish I’d paid attention to is that thing on the cleaner bag that says you shouldn’t put it over your head. Man, was my face red that time! Or maybe blue — I’ve been having trouble with my memory since then.
-
I’ll bet if clowns ever took over the world, C-SPAN would be a lot better cable channel.
I’ll bet if clowns ever took over the world, C-SPAN would be a lot better cable channel.
-
I don’t know why some people don’t believe in sex before marriage.
I don’t know why some people don’t believe in sex before marriage. If you ask me, it’s a hell of a lot more believable than sex AFTER marriage!
-
Proof of the astounding ability of human beings to deceive ourselves is our refusal to
Proof of the astounding ability of human beings to deceive ourselves is our refusal to think about what the chewed-up food in our mouth looks like right before we swallow it.
