A good, sharp knife has got to be the best invention since sliced bread.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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If I Were God
If I were god, I’d wait till the seventh day and try to do it all that evening, but then I’d probably get sidetracked when I invented Comedy Central and I’d have to ask for an extension on the eighth day. And if I didn’t get it, who cares? I’m god!
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Call the Exterminator
Sometimes I look outside my window and think, “Those people look like ants from here.” But then I realize I live on the first floor, and I really need to call the exterminator.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
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Free Psychic Reading
When I responded to an ad for a free psychic reading, she told me I was the type of person who wants something for nothing. How could she possibly know that?
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Except a Crippling Illness
Whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. Except a crippling illness that leaves me comatose and on a respirator, that is.
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Giant Robotic Parrot
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that my idea for melting down coins to make a giant robotic parrot was a bad idea, I would have one kickass giant robotic parrot.
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Neckwear for an Octopus
When choosing neckwear for an octopus, a bow tie is the way to go. A long tie is just likely to get tangled in the tentacles. Plus, most octopi believe that a bow tie makes them look like eccentric intellectuals rather than slimy cephalopods.
