Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Handshakes: Cannibals’ Party Starter!

What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes.

My wife complained that I don’t treat her like I did when we were dating.
So I took her to dinner and dropper her off at her parent’s house.

The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.

I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but that failed.
She figured out I was only after my money.

Like my Grandad always says, go the extra mile in every job that you do.
Lovely man, terrible train driver

What’s black and always in the back of a police car?
The seats.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
A pilot, you racist!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget!!!

What’s green and furry and has four legs and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you’ll die?
A pool table.

You know why sharks don’t eat clowns?
They taste funny.