In college, I took a class from a professor who changed my whole life. I can’t really remember what his name was, or what the class was, or even which college it was, but I found that if you sit behind a really tall guy and kind of slouch down in your chair you can drink Scotch right from the bottle and not get caught.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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You Can Trust Me As Far As You Can Throw Me
If I were a midget used-car dealer, my motto would be “You can trust me as far as you can throw me.”
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The Cola Wars
Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!
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Molotov Was a Beer Drinker
I’ve got ten dollars that says Molotov was a beer drinker.
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Elephant Trunk Size
In the elephant world, are dude elephants with longer trunks considered to be more manly? It probably doesn’t matter much, because I doubt a chick elephant can really tell the difference between a 9-foot-long trunk and an 8-foot-long one, unless it’s a G-spot-reaching difference.
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Neither Repeating Nor Terminating
My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.
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The Meaning of Cheese
When I stop to think about the meaning of life, I sometimes sigh and wonder if perhaps there’s more to all this than just the delicious taste of cheese and cheese-based products.
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Bad Cell Phone Connection
When my wife said we were breaking up, I thought she was referring to a bad cell phone connection. Now I’m not so sure, since she hasn’t come home in three weeks — and we don’t have a cell phone.
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Man in the Mirror
I heard Michael Jackson singing about the “Man in the Mirror.” What, was there somebody standing behind him?
