Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Yeehaw or Heeyaw

    I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.

  • Huh? Magazine

    I’ve been thinking of starting a magazine called “Huh?” for people suffering permanent memory loss. To save money, I could just publish the same issue every month.

  • More Guys Named Moe

    If Larry had been a wackier and more influential stooge, I suspect I’d know more guys named Moe.

  • Gonads-First Into a Doorknob

    There’s no shame in a man’s weeping; the bitter yet life-embracing tears of universal sorrow… especially when he’s just walked gonads-first into a doorknob.

  • If Loving You Is Wrong

    If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.

  • Demented Exhibitionist Guy

    I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”

  • Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann

    Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.

    Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.

  • Sofishticated

    What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

    Sofishticated.

  • Never Start Off on the Wrong Foot

    Why is a double amputee happier than an able-bodied person?

    Because they never start off on the wrong foot.

  • Safety in Numb Bears

    Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly without strong anesthesia first.

    Because there’s safety in numb bears.

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