I woke up this morning and I felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking a thousand aspirin.
But after the first two, I felt better.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Scaring the crap out of the passengers
It was in 1875 that my great-great-grandmother Elsa began appearing on stages throughout the Old West, and scaring the crap out of the passengers.
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Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but
Life is like a box of popcorn: You really crave chocolate, but instead get something hard and salty rammed down your throat.
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Lesbians and Mandates: A Rejection of Control
Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates. -
If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that
If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that “thwap” noise I’d want it to make when I hit it against my girlfriend.
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He was gladiator
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was gladiator.
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Cold Calls
Someone just called my phone and sneezed, coughed, and then hung up.
I’m getting sick of these cold calls.
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If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll
If zombies survived by eating genitalia instead of brains, I’ll bet there would be more than a few living guys who, when faced with an imminent attack, would consider it, then say, “What the hell…”
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It Tastes Like Ass
If you’ve never tried donkey meat, don’t bother.
It tastes like ass.
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We don’t want any kids
My wife and I have decided we don’t want any kids.
We’re going to tell them in the morning.
