I’m confused by those ads where a duck is trying to sell people disability insurance by quacking, “AFLAC!” at them. If instead he just yelled, “Duck!” I bet most debilitating injuries could be avoided altogether. I’m on to your scam, Mr. Insurance Duck!
Meh Thoughts
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Swallow
What bird doesn’t have kids?
Swallow.
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There’s nothing more embarrassing than having finished a huge brain dump at work, then
There’s nothing more embarrassing than having finished a huge brain dump at work, then having someone in the break- room point out you still have a piece of spreadsheet stuck to your ear.
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I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid.
I don’t dislike you because you’re stupid. I dislike you because you think you’re smarter than me, despite copious evidence to the contrary.
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The Worst Possible Place to Sell Seashells
When you think about it, it’s the worst possible place for her to sell seashells.
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Be careful when you hyperbolically joke that you’ve got something “up the wazoo,”
Be careful when you hyperbolically joke that you’ve got something “up the wazoo,” because sometimes those TSA agents won’t stop until they’ve found it.
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No matter how poor you are, you’re never too broke to afford a piece of cardboard and a
No matter how poor you are, you’re never too broke to afford a piece of cardboard and a magic marker.
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Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my
Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my laptop is between me and the cleaning lady who digs the tissues out of my trash bin.
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Look Back and Laugh
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
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My co-worker’s brain fart was so big it left skid marks on the
My co-worker’s brain fart was so big it left skid marks on the back of his cubicle wall.
