What do boobs and scotch have in common?
One is not enough and three is too many.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Stationery Bike
To get into better shape, I treated myself to a new piece of exercise equipment. It looks real pretty with my name and address on it, but the paper cuts are killing me. I guess I should have done more research before getting a stationery bike.
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Such a Small Organ
In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”
He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”
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Before the Crowbar Was Invented
True fact:
Before the crowbar was invented…
…most crows drank at home. -
I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in
I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in the bathroom sink instead of in the breakroom. I guess my superiors feel the lavatory should remain pristine for piss, shit and cum residue.
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There are no three words in the English language sexier or more
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more romantic than those three that every woman longs to hear a man say: “I’d hit that!”
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Divorce: She Took It All, Even My Soles
My wife took everything from me in the divorce. Including my expensive shoes.
She has sole custody. -
OJ Simpson Wanted to Move to West Virginia
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
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I’m really pissed off. I picked up a guy from Craigslist, got
I’m really pissed off. I picked up a guy from Craigslist, got off, and dropped him at the bus stop after giving him $2 — and he never gave me back my change!
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It Made My Earring
I went to a store where they use explosives to create jewelry.
As I entered there was a loud “bang.” It made my earring.
