she’s saying, “Look what I can do that you can’t.”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Knock, Knock: A Doctor’s Thoughtful Touch
I like how my new doctor knocks before he enters the exam room when I’m in there.
Because of his thoughtfulness, I may never get caught boosting drug samples and hypodermic needles again.
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One of your snakes is digesting a rat
The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.
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Secretary of Defense
If the top doctor and top lawyer are called the Surgeon General and the Attorney General, how come the person who heads up the military is called the Secretary of Defense? I suppose it’s because he can type really fast.
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Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance,
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
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I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties,
I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
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Homecoming Queen
Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is really nothing more than a high-stakes version of “Wouldn’t it be funny to elect the ugly girl homecoming queen?”
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Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
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Pickup lines do NOT work. Last night, eight different women
Pickup lines do NOT work. Last night, eight different women laughed at me and all I said
