I ve been trying to hire an au pair for about six months now, but so far I haven’t been able to find one willing to work for me. They all suspicious and question your motives when they find out you don’t have any children.
Meh Thoughts
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The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10
The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10 or 12 of them before she finally gets tired.
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Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST
Technically speaking, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind except for the LAST person.
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Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly
Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly COULD one give a flying fuck?
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Help me out here
It’s really cool when you and your girlfriend finish each other’s sentences. It sucks, though, when you break up and discover you’re no longer capable of speaking in complete… uh… help me out here…
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Those are just contractions
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.” -
They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your
They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your toilet tank. I must be saving a ton of water because I drop one directly in the bowl every morning.
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They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better
They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better than that of a human. If that’s the case, why do dogs have to get their nose so damn close when sniffing each others butts?
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I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the
I’m no physicist, but I’ll bet that in the fourth dimension, “thinking outside the tesseract” is physically impossible.
