I think I may have done too many Kegels, because now I’m getting taint cramps.
Meh Thoughts
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I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas.
I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They were all family members, and technically they were all still alive, but I just find it comforting to imagine they’re already deceased.
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This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
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For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with
For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with a stick, or beat you with a carrot.
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Women complain about the pain while giving birth.
Women complain about the pain while giving birth. Hey ladies, right about the time you stop having babies, I have to start paying some guy to stick a gloved finger up my ass every years for the rest of my life.
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Apparently, making love to your gin and tonic will get you thrown out of most bars, if
Apparently, making love to your gin and tonic will get you thrown out of most bars, if not arrested. Thanks for nothing, Billy Joel. R.M. Weiner
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Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS,
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS, they’d be able to park in a space when they grew up.
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I may not ever make it big in rap, but I’m damn sure I’m the coolest cat to ever rhyme
I may not ever make it big in rap, but I’m damn sure I’m the coolest cat to ever rhyme “rutabaga” with “tacos which were made by Daniel Ortega.”
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The main thing my family didn’t like about the ravioli I made from scratch last night
The main thing my family didn’t like about the ravioli I made from scratch last night was my use of staples to seal the meat in the ravioli.
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It never fails.
It never fails. Just looking at photos of Bob Costas makes my eyes itchy. Thank God he doesn’t have crabs.
