I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
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I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little
I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.
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How About Now
My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”
I replied, “No.”
She responded, “How about now?”
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How do you know it was on its way to work?
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me, “How do you know it was on its way to work?”
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If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
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The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire
The good thing about my job in Staffing is that when I hire people to fuck me, I can ask to re-interview them over and over.
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Life After Death: Lawyers vs. Prostitutes
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer?
A prostitute will stop screwing you after you’re dead.
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Violins
Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?
It’s because of all the violins.
