My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
-
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled,
If I masturbated any more, I’d be a teenage boy. A hot, muscled, hard-bodied teenaged boy. Uh, BRB…
-
Taking Out the Bodies of the Previous Owners
I really enjoy taking out the trash from my new home. It’s hard to explain, but walking the trash to the curb the night before trash day really makes me feel like a homeowner. Especially now that I’ve taken out the bodies of the previous owners.
-
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
-
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of
All of a sudden, my girlfriend is willing to try all sorts of stuff in bed that she’s never been interested in before. Woohoo! I’ve been waiting forever for– hey, what the hell?!?
-
It didn’t have any engineers
Why couldn’t the engine hear?
It didn’t have any engineers.
-
The Eggnog Alibi
I miss the holidays. It’s the only time of year when you can get away with telling people that the stain on your dress is really eggnog.
-
I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my
I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my hand too soon, but I think I figured out a cheap and easy way to make wet tissues at home.
-
Registered Six Offender
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
