It’s been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. It’s true, women love guys who have power. They also seem to enjoy running water and central heating.
Meh Thoughts
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I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of
I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of use of the term “giblets.”
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Not Enough Sand for Legal Troubles
What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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You never leave fingerprints behind
The only thing I like about winter is that you wear gloves so much you never leave fingerprints behind.
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Geometry Fetishes
People with geometry fetishes — they come in all shapes and sizes.
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Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS,
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS, they’d be able to park in a space when they grew up.
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Spreading Butter
Getting a woman to spread her legs is a lot like spreading butter on bread…
You can do it with a credit card, but it’s easier with a knife.
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My girlfriend and I had a really nasty fight, but afterward we had amazing makeup sex:
My girlfriend and I had a really nasty fight, but afterward we had amazing makeup sex: She hooked up with her ex while I hired a prostitute.
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American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle
American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle down, I’ll be looking for a woman who hails from Nicerackistan.
