I trained my dog to be a blacksmith.
He made a bolt for the door.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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One for the Road
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”
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I’m hoping that when I finally meet my Great Reward, my obituary
I’m hoping that when I finally meet my Great Reward, my obituary will say, “He died doing what he loved: coming up with filthy Ruminations on the shitter.”
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Hiding My Girlfriend’s Inhaler
I sometimes fool my neighbours into thinking I’m good in bed by hiding my girlfriend’s inhaler. They can hear her out of breath shouting “give it to me, just fucking give it to me, pleeeeease give it to me”.
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Common Sense: The Deodorant of Wisdom
Common sense is like deodorant… the people who need it most never use it.
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Still Assembling His Cabinet
Did you hear that the CEO of Ikea was just elected president of Sweden?
He is still assembling his cabinet.
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I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to
I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to see her get nasty and sweaty with another woman. But hair-pulling on “Jerry Springer” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
