I just dumped some Adderall in my Ford Fiesta’s gas tank…
Now it’s a Ford Focus.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Now it’s a Ford Focus
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Now I want to break three
I was going through my old stuff when I broke two Queen records.
Now I want to break three. -
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
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I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
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Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat”
Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat” — like I say I want a nice girl but leave off “who’s hot, rich and into butt stuff.”
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Feeling a Little Down
I was in a good mood till I started petting a duckling in the park.
Then I started feeling a little down.
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I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my
I’m not sure who to call — the patent office? Not to show my hand too soon, but I think I figured out a cheap and easy way to make wet tissues at home.
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Don’t let Kevin Bacon die
Ever since Johnny Cash died, we’ve had no cash. Ever since Steve Jobs died, we’ve had no jobs. Please God, don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
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An EpiPen Legacy: Love Beyond Allergies
I inherited an EpiPen from my grandfather. He wanted me to get it. That was his dying wish.
Weird, I know, I’m not even allergic.
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Man Wanted for Robbery
I was out on a walk when I saw a sign that said, “Man wanted for robbery.”
So I went in and applied for the job.
