What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a lowdown scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.
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Keep People in the Dark
My friends keep asking me how I’m able to save so much on my electric bill,
but I’ll never tell because I like to keep people in the dark.
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My Cat: The Feline Communist
I think my cat is a communist.
All he talks about is “Mao, Mao, Mao.”
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He’s a web designer
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer. -
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the hero’s going to squirt on her bush or unload all over those big ol’ titties.
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My gang name is The Toaster, cuz if you stab a fork in me, I
My gang name is The Toaster, cuz if you stab a fork in me, I will fuck you up. Also, I can lightly brown a bagel like a motherfucker.
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In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
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Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
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Stolen Antidepressants: Find Joy in My Pain
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
