Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
Meh Thoughts
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I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker
I wouldn’t say I’m a big drinker. I usually just have a glass of whiskey before bed.
Last night I went to bed 8 times.
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He had squatter’s rights
Why didn’t the personal trainer get kicked out of his apartment?
He had squatter’s rights.
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Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big
Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
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My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it
My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it so close to Jilly G.’s house — by the time the donors got to my office, they were pretty well emptied of fluids.
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Using the men’s room stall immediately after another guy left me torn between being the
Using the men’s room stall immediately after another guy left me torn between being the pleasure of having a warm seat versus being the disgust at using another dude’s ass-heat.
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I think “totally suckable nipple” is an awesome name for a band!
I think “totally suckable nipple” is an awesome name for a band! But yes, I agree, it wasn’t the best choice for the elementary school chorus.
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There goes my baby…
There goes my baby… walkin’ on down the line. Of course, had Sam Cooke understood that in Euclidean geometry, a line is an infinite succession of points and that he would likely never see his baby again, he might have reconsidered his lyrics. Another forceful case for erasing math illiteracy in the USA.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
