Times New Roman and Lucinda Calligraphy go into a bar.
The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve your type here”.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I Knew Where He Lived
I scared the mailman yesterday by going to the door completely naked…
I’m not sure what freaked him out more… my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
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That’s 15-love
My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”
I replied, “That’s 15-love.”
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Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me
Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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You wanna see Richter scale action? Try me, on a trampoline, braless
You wanna see Richter scale action? Try me, on a trampoline, braless.
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Pickup lines do NOT work. Last night, eight different women
Pickup lines do NOT work. Last night, eight different women laughed at me and all I said
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$50 Every Time
My current girlfriend loves to give blowjobs. Then again, so would I if I got $50 every time I did it.
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Global Warming Icebreaker
If you are meeting a new group of people and don’t know what to talk about, try mentioning Global Warming.
It’s a huge Icebreaker.
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Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the
Enough already about the Royal Wedding. Let’s move on to the Royal Wooding!
