Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

My Buddy Builds Tunnels for a Living

My buddy builds tunnels for a living.

Personally, I think it sounds like a boring job, but he totally digs it.

My friend had to quit his job helping foreign tourists find a place to sleep while they were traveling.

It was a hostel work environment.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

I don’t wear shoes when jumping on a trampoline.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead hooker?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?

To take up more time playing that harmonica.

I had a great childhood. One of my favorite things was to roll down hills in tires.

Those were the Goodyears.

I went to the doctor and said I’ve got an earache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis, and headaches, but he was dismissive.

He told me, “It’s all in your head.”

I’m going on a first date with a vegetarian girl I met online.

I’ve never met herbivore.

I found $20 lying on the ground and asked myself, “What would Jesus do?”

So, I turned it into wine.

A friend of mine had a penis extension.

And now his house looks stupid.