Hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away all the Ws.
Meh Thoughts
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Trampolines Disguised as Prayer Mats
I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
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There should be a summer camp for adults where you just go and sleep for three weeks.
There should be a summer camp for adults where you just go and sleep for three weeks.
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Running a 0.002K This Weekend
If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.
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A Nice Summer Body for People to Look At
I wanted to have a nice summer body for people to look at, but I realized I like food more than I like people.
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I Told My Wife I Wanted to Be Cremated
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
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I Accidentally Drank a Bottle of Invisible Ink
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.
I’m in the hospital now, waiting to be seen.
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Why SeaWorld Closed
Why did SeaWorld close?
It was being reporpoised.
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Why David Hasselhoff Started Going by “the Hoff”
Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just “the Hoff”?
It was less hassle.
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“I” Before “E”
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.
