Do you know why people call me “The Computer”?
I fall asleep if left unattended for 5 minutes.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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The First Few Days Were the Hardest
I recently joined a nudist colony.
The first few days were the hardest.
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Before and After Marriage
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent.
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Rearrange the Letters of POSTMEN
If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN…
They become VERY ANGRY.
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Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing
Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing what not to say. That’s why I never talk about my farts, no matter how much they sound like Donald Duck playing the kazoo.
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Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
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Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance,
Some words just don’t sound like what they mean. For instance, “Kalashnikov” is surely some kind of sexual perversion. And if “autofellatio” isn’t the name of a weapon, it oughta be.
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Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man
Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man making lunch for his wife before he leaves for work. At least that would explain the snickering when I told my co-workers that I tossed my wife’s salad this morning.
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Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
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Shaking Like a Crack Whore
Sometimes at the office, my co-worker tells me I drink too much coffee and makes fun of me by saying I’m “shaking like a crack whore.” Good thing she doesn’t know what I do in my off-hours.
