I just bought a new laptop and painted it black so it would run faster…
Instead, it just stopped working and stole all my data…
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I bleed at the sight of someone passing out
I’ve always been different from most people. For instance, I bleed at the sight of someone passing out.
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My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock
My boyfriend told me, “I want to take a picture of my cock between the twins.” WTF? I’m not so sure I want my niece and nephew that close to a rooster!
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I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of
I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of “Fitness” and “Shape” magazines, with scantily attired women adorning the cover. I mean, they *always* find a way to put the damn mailing label on top of the cameltoe!
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An Edison
What do you call a stolen Tesla?
An Edison.
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Nguyen-Nguyen Situation
My boss decided to hire two Vietnamese brothers instead of one.
It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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“There’s no ‘i’ in team,” my boss told me. I smugly pointed out
“There’s no ‘i’ in team,” my boss told me. I smugly pointed out to him that there’s no “i” in “Fuck you, asshole” either.
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Missile Sites Happy to See Him
As the F-14 screamed through the desert air, the pilot eyed the rising launcher ramps and wondered yet again if the missile sites were a genuine threat or merely happy to see him.
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Came Out of the Closet This Morning
Someone told me my clothes were gay.
I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”
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Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
