I’m going to deliver the baby
Actually, we’d like him to keep his liver
Tone: absurd
Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Didnt Expect ME Did Ya
Little Johnnie was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.
This upset the teacher, who said to him, “Johnnie, is this how your father would have come in — late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again, and get it right this time!”
So, Little Johnnie left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he’d come in. Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, “So Honey, didn’t expect ME, did ya?”
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Newton Invented Gravity
DID YOU KNOW?
Before Isaac Newton invented gravity in 1869, people could fly
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Pirate Hook
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”
“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”
Bartender: “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
Pirate: “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
Bartender: “Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”
Pirate: “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really…”
Bartender: “What about that eye patch?”
Pirate: “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.”
Bartender: “You’re kidding, you lost an eye just from bird shit?”
Pirate: “It was my first day with the hook.”
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Elmo Sesame Street
Elmo knows better than to question a man who just tore off half of his friend’s head to wear as a hat. There’s no place for weakness on the Sesame Street.
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WD40 DA-WN Flowchart
DOES IT MOVE?
No – Should it? No – No Problem
Yes – Should it? Yes – No Problem
No – WD-40
DA-WN
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Send To Back Bus
Cut Copy Paste Change Picture… Group Bring to Front Send to Back Hyperlink… Save as Picture… Size and Position… Send to Back Send Backward
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Ms Jackson Four Eels
I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo)
I am four eels
Never meant to make your daughter cry
BABY WAIT
I am several fish and not a guy
