Tone: absurd

Absurd jokes, weird logic, surreal memes, and nonsense that somehow files taxes from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Roland the Farter

    Roland the Farter

    Imagine farting so good that the King gives you a 30 acre estate.

    Imagine someone farting so good, that you’re reading about them right now, 900 years later.

    Roland the Farter – a medieval flatulist who lived in twelfth-century England. Given Hemingstone manor in Suffolk and 12 hectares (30 acres) of land in return for his services as a jester for King Henry II. Each year he was obliged to perform “Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum” (one jump, one whistle, and one fart) for the King’s court at Christmas.

  • Whoopee Cushion Gravy

    Whoopee Cushion Gravy

    A whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke

  • Clogs In Toilet

    Clogs In Toilet

    Wooden clogs in a toilet bowl.

  • Hills Alive Skeet Skeet

    Hills Alive Skeet Skeet

    the hills are alive with the sound of music

    Aw skeet skeet mothafuckaaaaaaaaa

  • I Miss Her So Much Bro

    I Miss Her So Much Bro

    The heart wants what the nose remembers.

  • Ray Singing the Wrong Direction

    Ray Singing the Wrong Direction

    Ray Charles, absolutely crushing it, just aimed at the back of the venue instead of the front. The crowd is behind you, legend.

  • A Field Guide to Unicorns

    A Field Guide to Unicorns

    A taxonomic classification of unicorns in the wild: the standard model, the heavy assault variant, and the high-speed submersible edition.

  • Hilarious Driving Test Pranks to Fail Spectacularly

    Have Fun While Taking a Driving Test

    1. Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.

    2. Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look, “Buckle up!”

    3. Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability. In the middle of it, get out and check to see if you have hit every one.

    4. Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/her to put a piece of plastic wrap down so he doesn’t dirty the seat.

    5. When the examiner tells you to stop, step on the gas. Tell him/her that you thought it was the brake.

    6. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch and say “Oops.”

    7. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, “Now which one is the gas again?”

    8. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and check the oil.

    9. Fill your car with beer bottles.

    10. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs.

    11. Tell the registrar that you are taking the remedial test.

    12. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.

    13. Swear at everybody on the road.

    14. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light.

    15. Beep your horn at everything.

    16. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.

    Warning: If you wish to pass the test, refrain from doing more than two of these, and be sure to grin widely at the end.

  • German Car Parts Get Hilariously Mistranslated Names

    When the German language doesn’t have an existing word one can sometimes assemble a new one from bits they already have. Therefore non-british people who speak english should pronounce the german phonetically.

    INDICATORS Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
    BONNET Pullnob und Knucklechoppen
    EXHAUST Spitzenpoppenhangentuben
    SPEEDOMETER Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
    CLUTCH Die Kuplink mit achlippen und schaken
    PUNCTURE Die Phlatt mit Bludyfucken
    LEARNER Die Twatten mit Elplate
    ESTATE CAR Der Bagzeroomfurshagginaute
    PARKING METER Der tennarpinscher und Zlochenarr
    WINDSCREEN WIPER Der flippenflappenmuckenschpredder
    POWER BRAKES Der edbangeronvinschreen stoppenquick
    GEAR LEVER Biggensticken fur Kangaroochoppen
    FUEL GAUGE Der Walletemptyung Meter
    BREATHALYSER Die Puffitinter fur Pistenarsen
    REAR VIEW MIRROR Der Yonkunter ist Tooklosan
    SEAT BELT Der klunkenklikken frauleinstrapper
    HEADLIGHTS Das Dippendontdazzelubasted
    EXHAUST FUMES Die Koffundschplitterpoluter
    HIGHWAY CODE Der Wipen fur Arsen
    FOG WARNING Die Puttenklogdownan und Fukkitt
    TRAFFIC JAM Die Bluddifuckin Dammundblast
    REAR SEAT Der Schpringentester
    TYRES Flatfahrts
    BACKFIRE Der Lowdenbangermekkenjumpen
    JUGGERNAUT Der Fukkengratt Trukken
    ACCIDENT Das Bleedinkmess
    NEAR ACCIDENT Der Phewn Near Schittenselfen
    GARAGE Der Hieway Robberung
    CYCLIST Der Peddallpushink Pilloken
    SKID Die Bannanen Waltzen
    DOUBLE WHITE LINES Overtaken und Krunchen.

  • Boop Boop Uber Here

    Boop Boop Uber Here

    boop boop uber here

    wtf, greg